In My Mind

In planning our Colorado vacation, I listened contemplatively as my husband discussed the mountains. 12,000 ft lakes, summitting 14ers, “lets just climb and see how high we get…” I pictured myself with a bandanna on my head, outfitted in Patagonia, with a walking stick and a golden retriever by my side. (Just to let you know I do not have any of these things, not even a bandanna.)


As we drive through the mountains, my dream becomes more pronounced. I see the mountains, the summits, the Subaru’s with the Colorado flag and bike racks on top and I think: “This is where I belong. This is the image I want to portray”.

So fast forward to our cabin, which lies at 9,700ft with a view of Twin Lakes and various mountain ranges. (Mt. Elbert, La Plata Peak, Mt Perry…) I become seriously winded climbing the stairs to our front door. It’s not pretty. So, I drink some water and remind myself to stay focused on acclimating to altitude.

Our first hike is now before me. We are at the top of Independence Pass, 12,000 ft ready to stroll through a meadow trail for a mile, destination: Independence Lake. I do not have a bandanna, there is no golden retriever, and I am wearing GAP outlet instead of Patagonia. I feel like crap. I am stumbling through the rocky trail, feeling light headed, gulping water like a man in a desert. I am nauseous. I am pretending to be cheerful to my group: “Isn’t it beautiful? Can you believe this view?” Thinking in my mind as I say this: “Dear Lord, make it stop!” We make it to a patch of snow near a small waterfall in the mountain stream and I sit and admit to my group I am close to death. Josh looks at his GPS and announces we have not even made it a ½ mile.

I am not hard core. I am a West Michigan girl, as much as I want to be the Subaru, Patagonia girl, I am a Honda civic, Macy’s girl. I am a sit on the deck with my wine and look at the Mountains girl. I am a stroll through a down town with a latte and buy scarves and jewelry kind of girl. I am not hard core, but I am not out of breath so I am happy.