Freud

I had a dream about my Grandma Brower the other night. I dream every night and every night my dreams are crazy and indescribable... but this dream got the Freud in me thinking... Lay down on the couch of my mind and lets dig in.



My Grandma Brower died a few years ago. She was/is my hero. My first born is named after her (Johanna). She was one of those people that no matter what "lemons" happened in life she made lemonade (and strawberry jam, and a roast and applesauce). She wanted to be a missionary, but it was the depression and the only thing she could afford to do was be a nurse. She was a darn good nurse as well. For her entire career. Everyone knew her, respected and loved her. Everyone. Her husband died and she raised her four children. She accepted her life and found joy in every moment. And I know she struggled. I know she had many many difficult moments and experiences.

So back to me and my dream : ) I dreamed that I went to visit her in a nursing home. She was very sick and dying. The closer I got to her, the more I talked to her, the more I touched her, the healthier she became. She started talking, sitting up and regressing in illness and age.

So, faithful readers, you get where I am going here? Here is the Freud analysis part for you... I can often be discontent in my life. I can easily look at the things I do not have and can not do. I can be overwhelmed with anxiety and what if's. I can feel really sorry for myself. But what my dream was telling me that by modeling my life, my actions, my attitude after my Grandma Brower, she is becoming more alive in me. And that makes me happy.

Cheers to the reincarnation of goodness.