Tall

It is always amazing to me how many people feel the need to tell me I am tall. At least once a week I hear "Boy are you tall!" or "I always forget how tall you are" and many variations on these themes. I am really good with being tall...now, but it was a trial for most of my life. Then just about a week ago my very good friend (who is short) told me that there is a college scholarship out there for tall people! I researched and sure enough... Tall Clubs International ( a social organization for tall people) will give $1000 to someone over 5'10". All you need to do is connect with a member of the club (closest to me is Chicago) and write a essay about being tall. Well, I may not be going back to college, but I want to write my essay! So here you are faithful readers...

9th grade gym class, one of the first weeks of school, we had to measure ourselves. I had been pretty adamant for the last 2 years that I was 5'10" and did not feel that I had any major growth spurt so I was confident what the tape would show. But when my partner, astonished, stated: SIX FEET!, I truly thought my life was over. I was one of three 6 footers in the 9th grade (the other 2 who were both stunningly beautiful, thin, athletic and popular). Besides towering over most boys, I was clumsy, nerdy and plain.

With out realizing I would stand hunched over to make myself shorter. I would slouch in chairs to allow others to see over me in class. I still, at 34, have horrible posture.

How many times people asked me if I played basketball and I had to answer with an ashamed "no". How many times people said "You should be a model" I am sure, realizing, that this was an incredible unattainable goal.

When I turned 16 there was a boy I really liked and he said to me, "My doctor said when I am 18 I will be 6 foot, then I am going to ask you out". I did not want to go out with him when he was 18! I wanted to go out with him now!

I could not buy pants in stores, but had to order them. I often bought mens dress pants cause I could not find women's. Through out college and into adulthood, I was called "sir" 3 times.

Now these are all very devastating moments in a pretty happy life, but they stand out and always will. I will always get frustrated in the mall when I can not buy pants like everyone else. I will always be annoyed when the only sale shoes are high heals that put me at 6'4".

By the time I was 20, I had pretty much gotten over the tall issues. It helps to live in a Dutch community and attend a college with a bunch of other Dutch girls and boys (The Dutch are notoriously tall people). Internet shopping was becoming much easier and the boys had all grown up (literally) by then. I found a gift in helping people reach things from high places. I found a lovely tall boyfriend (now husband), but I still slouched, I still felt like a failure for not succeed in tall things like basketball or modeling.

Being tall seems like a minor issue, it does not seem essay worthy or scholarship worthy, but being tall, very often, has made me feel unworthy. It allows for assumptions that are not true which then creates a stereotype that I do not fit in that causes an already insecure person all the more reason to be secure. There are daily reminders that I am not normal: hunched over counters in kitchens, trying to cross my legs under tables, bumping my head in doorways, not being able to sit flat footed in some cars and in airplanes... I could go on...

I won't bore you with all the details about how I gained my self confidence and how I learned to embrace my tallness, but I want encourage all of you to dig down deep inside yourself, think about where you have a few dollars hidden away and send me the money I deserved to pay back my college loans. : )