24 hours

When I woke up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat, I should have realized it was a premonition to the day...To quote Alexander: "The terrible, horrible no good, very bad day". It actually started the evening before....

I decided to get myself a pedicure. I have pretty ugly feet and am not so great at doing my own nails... Despite the lovely gifts and breakfast my family gave me, this was a final gift to myself. As I sat some what relaxed in the over crowed salon in the mall getting my feet soaked and scrubbed I looked down and noticed, laying perfectly still on my shirt, a large, brown, old dried up tonal clipping. My instinct was to brush it off and I quickie became distracted with the pumicing of my own feet, but later had time to reflect on how truly gross it all was...

The next morning after the night sweats I woke up late (this is usual, I hit snooze for about 45 minutes each day), I got out of bed for breakfast and realized that about 45 minutes had passed and I forgot to wake up the kids and my husband and I had about 20 minutes to shower, blow dry, apply make up, get dressed etc. So as the manic Monday began I flew out of the house, climbed in my car and went to put my keys in the ignition, only to realize I had no keys. I search my purse: Nothing. I go inside, do a quick search: Nothing. Back to the car, look everywhere, look in my purse again: Nothing. Back to the house and get Josh and the girls involved in the search: Still Nothing. Josh says "did you check your purse?" Of course I check my purse!!!! But back out I go and sure enough, there are my keys. In. My. Purse.

As I back (a little too fast) out of the drive way the next domino of my bad day falls. I run over the garbage can. It knocks down, falls into the street. BIG SIGH ( I promise no bad words). As I get out to fix the situation the neighbor boy has a big grin on his face and says "nice move". Another BIG SIGH.

My drive to work is pretty uneventful despite being stuck behind a school bus on a country road and having to put my make up on in the car. I arrive just in time for the little "shower" we are having for a co-worker. There are about 20 of us there so, and one of them is the new intern so we decide to do a round of introductions... I feel a little bad for the interns at our office, because we are really crowded and growing out of our current space so the interns end up having an office in the supply closet. So as the very nice Angela introduces herself to everyone I ask "Are you in the closet?" Silence followed by a ROAR of laughter. It takes a minute for me to register what I have implied. I stammer: "The SUPPLY CLOSET, I mean is you office in the supply closet!!!!!" The poor girl she may not come back tomorrow.

I finally get to my office and realize I have left my computer at home. My computer with my powerpoint presentation that I have to present that same evening... At. My. House. 30 minutes away. I recreate the presentation (thank goodness it is a short one).

The final issue is one even I, transparent, honest, Sarah did not think I would share with all of you faithful readers, but, I must. As I was meeting with my coworker, I look down and see a few small brown spots on my nice, white shirt. I look it over a bit and slowly realize... I have poop on my shirt. I am 34 years old and have POOP on. my. shirt.