Little White Lies

I have a subscription to a magazine called Real Simple and this month there was an article about lying. What types of lies there are, why we tell them and what we gain from lying. At the end of the article, the author writes down all the lies she told in a day. Pretty standard stuff, but it got me thinking about my lies... Should I record them for a day and then post them? Well, I might not do that cause I do lie a lot. Good lies usually. The type that make others feel better or the type that get me out of trouble. Lies of omission are pretty common as well... Even some blatant lies... I guess I do lie a lot and even if I do not put them down, you, faithful readers, might be wondering what I have recently lied about. Well, I made it this far, maybe I can remember some fun ones to help you get inside my head for a few seconds.

1. Hanna and/or Abby ask me what I am eating when I am shoving a handful of vanilla wafers into my mouth. "Oh nothing, I am just having a carrot.." or they ask me if they can have some candy and I say no, but I am happy they reminded me there is candy in the house so I go grab a handful.

2. I once worked at Family Fare for one shift in the Deli and hated it so much I quit. But before my shift I had to buy khaki pants and a white shirts. I returned them the next and when the sales person asked if they had been worn, I said no.

3. Last week I was told I was going to have a 15-20 minute radio interview on a national show. Well it turned out to be a 5 minute interview on an very religious show that was played on a handful of conservative backwoods radio stations mostly in the Bible belt. I did not correct anyone's assumptions that maybe I was on NPR. (regardless I was very happy for the opportunity.)

4. I can still believe I weigh what I did 4 months ago, if I do not stand on the scale, I can still believe in the number despite how tight my pants have become.

5. When I get gas, I sometimes pay inside so I can sneak a diet coke on the bill if I ran out of my weekly allowance of Cash (Good old Dave Ramsey).

6. After you all read #5 you think I follow Dave Ramsey, it is a lie, I do about once a month... and then I feel suffocated so I make a face when I say his name and pull out my debit card : )

7. I often do not disclose my political beliefs for fear of ruining relationships. I often do disclose my political beliefs to look more rebellious than I am :)

8. Sometimes I tell my kids it is past their bed time and it isn't.

9. Sometimes I say my alarm didn't go off and it did. I chose to ignore it. For an hour. Or longer.

10. I may pretend not to be jealous of you, but most likely I am.

11. I often do not tell people about food in their teeth or zippers that are down or boogers in their nose and then when they notice and freak out I say, "I did not notice!" I did notice. I always notice.

12. As a teen I got a Christmas present I hated. It was horrible. I smiled and pretended to like it and never used it. I never told the person who gave it to me. You are all wondering now "was it me?" No it was not you.

Well enough confession for tonight. Please do not feel you need to do the same and please feel free to lie to me to spare my feelings. Unless I am wearing a horrible ruffly shirt and am about to do a presentation to a large group of people (LIE: small group of people) then you must tell me. (Thanks Jill for telling me!) Most other embarrassments are better left alone.