overcoming fear

As you all know I have some trouble in the kitchen. The problem is not that I do not cook well ( I don't, it never works the way it is supposed too). The problem is that I am overcome with anxiety every time I am thinking of attempting to cook something. I can browse through recipe books, I can make a grocery list and go to the store, but once I have to actually say: "I am going to make this" and have to step into the kitchen to do it, I freak out. I have even bought all the ingredients for a recipe, planned ahead to make it and the order pizza at the last minute.

Every once and a while I will get the courage to try something (well, not in the past year) and fail miserably (usually fire alarms are involved). I had finally talked myself out of this need to cook and decided it was o.k. if I lived on cereal and scrambled eggs the rest of my life.

But after a while of this acceptance I realized it was not the need to cook, but the need to conquer a fear. It really does not matter if I can cook or not. I just do not want to be afraid of trying.

So, this week I found myself working short days in order to be at home with my new puppy Polly...

I know, she is cute! Thanks for noticing :)

With kids in school and not feeling rushed at the end of the day, I chose two recipes (that my kids both like) and fired up for the challenge.

First try was Chicken fingers. I had to dip chicken in milk, roll it in a flour, salt pepper and cornflake mixture and bake in a foil lined pan. The results were good and bad...First I got the french fries (frozen for kids and sweet potato for me) and the chicken done at the same time, second, the chicken was cooked through, third the fire alarm did not go off and fourth, the kids ate them and loved them! bad results were 1. The flour on the chicken did not get crispy, it just was, well, flour...2. They had no flavor what so ever (which is most likely why my children liked them)

Second try was lasagna. The prep, again, went very well. I put it in the oven to bake and it came out just like it was supposed to! I was a little nervous cutting into it as the noodles were very hard. But, again, the kids LOVED IT!

Best of all, I did it. I put my fear aside and cooked a meal. I still would rather be cooked for. (Well, I still would rather go out) and I may not make cooking a habit, but, I conquered a fear and survived.

I wonder what will be next?